Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
