I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
