Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
