he puts the penis in happiness.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
