there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
