So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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