so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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