What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
