Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
