If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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