lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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