Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
