I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
