You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
