My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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