I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
