um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
