upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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