We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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