I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
