1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
