My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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