You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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