She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
