I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
