is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
