I'm drive I can fine osifer
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Will exercising make me less horny?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize