I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
