I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
