My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just cut my nipple shaving
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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