That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize