in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
