p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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