Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
