U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
