Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
