Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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