God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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