you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize