I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
