you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
