The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
