just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Fuck appropriateness.
Sober January is a disaster.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize