I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
