This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
