He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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