So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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