ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize