It's like God shit irony all over that family
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
