I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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