So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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