So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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