if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize