summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
