My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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