I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
