Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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