Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
How's work?
Spinning.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
