They should really pass out barf bags in church
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize