Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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