You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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